Loss Of Erection During Sex: 6 Reasons Why You Can’t Stay Hard

Loss of erection during the excitement phase could be a sign of an underlying problem. 

Have you ever had your erection go away during sex with your partner? 

Losing an erection a few times is normal and happens to a lot of other people. 

This may be due to a variety of reasons, for example, stress or anxiety. 

But, if you have been losing an erection more often and can’t stay hard, then this might be a problem worth looking into. 

Not being able to maintain an erection could be a sign of erectile dysfunction.

In this article, we will dig into the reasons why you’re losing your erection and lifestyle adjustments or medications that can help.

Why do I lose my erection during the excitement phase?

For you to get sexually aroused to engage in sex, you must be mentally, emotionally, and physically ready. 

When you get aroused, your heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure increase. Then, there is more blood flow to your genitals to cause an erection. This process is called the excitement phase.

If anything affects any phase of this process, you could lose your erection. 

This could be a result of various factors, such as:

1) Chronic diseases

Chronic illnesses, such as hypertension and diabetes, can cause damage to your blood vessels and nerves. The blood vessels or nerves in your penis or its surroundings may be affected. 

This may lead to problems getting an erection. Or, you may have difficulty staying hard. 

If you experience this, speak with a healthcare professional to help you. You may be able to decrease the damage or avoid it when you treat these conditions.

2) Sedentary lifestyle and unhealthy eating habits

These lifestyle factors may be the reason you keep losing erections. 

What does it mean to have a sedentary lifestyle? A sedentary lifestyle refers to a lack of physical activity. The person does not get the least required physical exercise for their age. 

A poor diet may also contribute to losing an erection. Some foods can damage your blood vessels over time. 

Examples of these are saturated fats found in fatty meat, butter, cheese, bacon, excess salt, etc. 

3) Depression, anxiety, stress

Your state of mind is important for sexual arousal. Your body reacts to sexual signals from your brain. 

If you are stressed out for any reason, anxious, or depressed, you may find it difficult to get an erection or keep it. 

Your loss of erection might be from your current mental health. You may also have performance anxiety. You will need to see a healthcare personnel to help you.

4) Drugs

Certain medications may have side effects, including impacts on sexual function. For some medicines, the sexual side effects may reduce or resolve after some time. 

Examples of some medications that can cause ED are:

  • Antidepressants like Cymbalta
  • Some drugs for the treatment of high blood pressure
  • Testosterone blockers (antiandrogens)
  • Recreational drugs like heroin and marijuana

5) Smoking and Alcohol

You may already know that smoking is bad for your health. It is not surprising that it can be the reason you are losing your erections during intercourse. 

Nicotine can cause damage to your blood vessels that could lead to ED.

Excessive alcohol intake can damage your health, including your sexual health. If you do drink, you should not exceed 14 units in a week. 

Heavy drinking may cause sexual dysfunction and a decrease in sexual satisfaction.

6) Too much exercise

Exercise is good for your health. But too much physical activity may affect your erections. 

It can cause a decrease in your testosterone hormone levels. The stress hormone cortisol begins to increase instead, leading to sexual dysfunction. 

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Does having trouble staying erect mean I have erectile dysfunction?

Losing an erection a few times does not always mean that you have ED. It could be as a result of anxiety, stress, or some medication that you may be taking. 

If you cannot stay erect every time during intercourse, you may have ED. 

You should see a doctor for help to investigate the cause and start treatment.

Can a man be excited but not erect?

Yes. Sexual excitement is not only limited to the sex organs. Your mind also plays a role in getting you aroused. 

Interestingly, men with ED can become aroused, orgasm, and even ejaculate. 

Prostate massage, when performed appropriately, may lead to orgasm. In fact, prostate orgasms are believed to be more pleasurable than penile orgasms.

How to keep an erection during the excitement phase

Talk to your partner

You need to address what is causing you to lose your erections. The first step is being open with your partner. 

Losing erections quickly or midway can be frustrating for you and your partner. You need to find a way to communicate your feelings and work together.

Medications

Next, you need to contact your doctor, who can help you find the cause and may recommend some medications. Some drugs to treat ED are:

  • Viagra (generic name is Sildenafil)
  • Levitra (known as Vardenafil)
  • Cialis (Tadalafil)

These drugs belong to a class of medicines called the Phosphodiesterase-5 (PDE-5) inhibitors. They work by helping to increase blood flow to the penis and helping to keep you erect for longer.

Lifestyle Changes

Your doctor may recommend that you add or change certain practices in your daily life to help you keep your erection, such as:

  • Have a healthy diet
  • Engage in daily physical exercise
  • Stop smoking and reduce the amount of alcohol you consume
  • Sleep well
  • Get massages or acupuncture

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Therapy

It may be helpful to talk to a therapist if the reason for losing your erection is stress, anxiety, or depression. This can help improve your condition a great deal.

Testosterone supplements

These supplements can help those who have low testosterone levels. 

Vacuum Device

A vacuum device can be put around the penis to trap blood in the penis to gain an erection. This method could be an option for those who have tried drug therapy without any success.

Surgery

Surgery is usually the last option. People who have not responded to the above methods of treatment may resolve with surgery. 

Several types of surgeries can be done for erectile dysfunction. An example is a penile implant

Your doctor will help you decide on what method is better for you if you choose surgery.

Conclusion

Loss of erection during sex can be quite an embarrassing and frustrating experience. It may put a strain on your sex life, especially if it is recurrent. 

It is not unusual for men to lose an erection during coitus once in a while, especially if they are older than 40.

But, if it happens quite often, you should seek help. It could mean that you have erectile dysfunction.

Several factors can cause you to lose an erection. These may include:

  • Depression
  • Stress
  • Performance anxiety
  • Chronic diseases such as diabetes and hypertension
  • Some drugs

Several treatment methods are available for loss of erection during sex. If it has only happened to you a few times, you may not need any treatment. 

But if it is persistent, you may need some medications, lifestyle changes, or psychotherapy. Surgery is the last option of treatment.

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Sources

  1. Rany Shamloul, Hussein Ghanem, Erectile dysfunction, The Lancet, Volume 381, Issue 9861, 2013, Pages 153-165.
  2. Park JH, Moon JH, Kim HJ, Kong MH, Oh YH. Sedentary Lifestyle: Overview of Updated Evidence of Potential Health Risks. Korean J Fam Med. 2020 Nov;41(6):365-373. doi: 10.4082/kjfm.20.0165. Epub 2020 Nov 19. PMID: 33242381; PMCID: PMC7700832.
  3. Alwaal A, Breyer BN, Lue TF. Normal male sexual function: emphasis on orgasm and ejaculation. Fertil Steril. 2015 Nov;104(5):1051-60. doi: 10.1016/j.fertnstert.2015.08.033. Epub 2015 Sep 16. PMID: 26385403; PMCID: PMC4896089.
  4. Shindel AW, Lue TF. Medical and Surgical Therapy of Erectile Dysfunction. [Updated 2022 Jul 17]. In: Feingold KR, Anawalt B, Blackman MR, et al., editors. Endotext [Internet]. South Dartmouth (MA): MDText.com, Inc.; 2000-.

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