The meaning of the term sexual frustration refers to a feeling of having unmet sexual needs.
Anyone can feel sexually frustrated, whether you are sexually active or not.
In fact, sexual irritation commonly occurs in people who are in committed relationships and have sex regularly.
In this article, we discuss signs of sexual frustration. We also explore some possible causes of feeling sexually frustrated, its effect on relationships, and how to deal with it.
Signs of sexual frustration
Sexual satisfaction is essential for most adults. When sexual desires are not being met, there are various signs that a person may exhibit. They include:
1) Easy irritability
When a person is sexually frustrated, they may become more irritable than usual as a result of pent-up energy and feelings of dissatisfaction.
2) Decreased sexual activity
Ironically, sexual frustration can manifest as a decreased or complete lack of interest in sexual activity. This may happen when a person has sexual desires that are continuously unfulfilled.
3) High-risk sexual behavior
Having unfulfilled sexual desires sometimes predisposes people to indulge in risky sexual behaviors – e.g., not practicing safe sex, engaging in casual sex, and having multiple sexual partners – in an attempt to find excitement and fulfill their fantasies.
4) Unhealthy coping habits
Some people may develop unhealthy coping habits like binge eating or drinking as a way of distracting themselves when they feel sexually frustrated.
Others may attempt to overcome feeling sexually deprived and find sexual satisfaction using the unhealthy habit of binge-watching porn.
5) Relationship tension
Are you and your partner arguing a lot lately? Do you find yourself snapping at them with little provocation?
High tension between a couple may be a sign of underlying sexual frustration.
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Why do I feel sexually frustrated?
Having a feeling that your sexual needs are not being met could result from a wide range of factors:
Lack of a sexual partner
If you are ready for sex but don’t have a sexual partner, it could lead to feelings of frustration.
This could happen if you’re single, in a long-distance relationship, or even while you’re in a relationship where you’re living with a partner who cannot have sex with you for some reason.
Unrealistic expectations
Some people set impossible standards for sex, make demands that are difficult for their partners to meet, and repeatedly criticize their partner’s sexual performance.
These unrealistic expectations often arise from porn. They could lead to difficulty letting loose and enjoying sex, performance anxiety, and feelings of sexual frustration for both parties in the relationship.
Lack of communication
Sexual frustration and sexual dissatisfaction may arise when partners do not communicate their needs and desires to each other.
Various studies have shown that couples who have sexual problems often have issues with communication.
Sexual dysfunction
Sexual dysfunction refers to any issues that stop someone from experiencing sexual satisfaction.
The condition is quite common, with up to 40% of women and 30% of men experiencing some level of sexual dysfunction.
Sexual dysfunction disorders in men include:
- erectile dysfunction
- low sexual desire
- premature ejaculation
- failure to ejaculate
- difficulty getting aroused
- unsatisfactory orgasm
In women, some sexual dysfunction disorders that can occur are:
- painful intercourse
- vaginismus (involuntary contractions of the muscles around the vagina)
- low libido
- issues with arousal or orgasm
Sexual dysfunction disorders often lead to unsatisfactory sex and may cause the partners of those affected to feel sexually frustrated.
Health conditions
Several common medical conditions are linked with sexual dysfunction. They include:
- Mental illnesses like anxiety and depression.
- Hypertension (high blood pressure)
- Diabetes
- Heart disease
Certain treatment options for these health issues can also affect sex drive. These include antidepressants and antihypertensive medications like diuretics and beta-blockers.
Body image problems
One study that included 201 Dutchmen showed that negative body attitudes, body self-consciousness, and genital self-image issues had a strong link with sexual dissatisfaction.
Having insecurities about your body can make it difficult for you to express your sexual desires, explore, and enjoy sex.
These feelings could make it difficult for you to engage in sex or even lead to you completely avoiding intimacy. All these could cause sexual frustration.
Sex drive discrepancy
Sometimes, couples have mismatched libidos, with one partner having a high sex drive and the other having a low one.
This could lead to feelings of sexual frustration for the person with the higher sex drive.
Stress
From losing a loved one to being in a difficult working environment, increased stress can result from a wide range of issues.
Without healthy coping mechanisms, a person’s sex drive may suffer.
Relationship strain
Issues with the relationship can both be a sign and a cause of sexual frustration.
For many people, feeling safe and having a strong emotional bond with their partner is an important prelude to sex.
Arguments and conflict can affect this bond and affect sexual interactions.
How sexual irritation impacts relationships
For many people, sex is an important aspect of their romantic relationships. A 2018 study found that there was a strong association between sexual satisfaction and overall satisfaction with the relationship.
Sexual frustration can lead to feelings of anger and resentment and have a serious negative impact on relationships.
It can cause various personal issues which may affect the relationship dynamics and lead to eventual separation.
For instance, various studies have shown links between sexual and mental health. One study found a link between sexual dissatisfaction and symptoms of depression.
Also, someone dealing with sexual frustration may start to exhibit reckless behavior, such as infidelity, which could be detrimental to their relationship.
How to deal with feeling sexually deprived
Whether you’re single or in a committed relationship, there are many healthy ways to deal with sexual frustration. Here are some of them:
Exercise
Instead of turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms, try working out to take your mind off things and release the pent-up sexual energy.
The great thing is that, in addition to helping you decompress and improving your mood, exercise comes with loads of health benefits.
New endeavors
Sometimes, having a lot of free time on your hands allows you to ponder on sex and may worsen the frustration.
Try volunteering, going to events, starting a creative project, taking up a new hobby, or learning a new skill.
Effective communication
Good communication is key to improving various aspects of romantic relationships, most especially sex.
No one is a mind reader. If you are in a relationship and you don’t tell your partner what you desire and expect from them sexually, they may not be able to meet your needs.
For those in long-distance relationships, communication is particularly important. If you are feeling sexually frustrated, open up to your partner.
You can try sexting and other forms of virtual sex. Various apps and games have been designed to help couples that are far apart connect and have those much-needed moments of intimacy.
Experimentation
Instead of seeking excitement and fulfillment of your desires outside of your relationship, communicate with your partner about exploring and trying new things.
From role-play to sex toys, there are many things you can use to break out of the routine and spice up your sex life.
Seeing a doctor
If you or your partner has been experiencing a persistent drop in libido, it may be necessary to see a doctor.
They can assess you to find out if there are any underlying health conditions that may be causing the sexual dysfunction.
Speaking with a therapist
Regardless of your relationship status, you (and your partner, if you have one) can consult a sex therapist for any issues you have regarding sex.
If you have issues with body image, for example, these experts can help you overcome them.
For couples that have mismatched libidos, they can help each partner express their needs and discuss ways to satisfy each other.
Conclusion
Sexual frustration meaning refers to the feeling of dissatisfaction a person gets when their sexual needs are not met. It can affect anyone, regardless of relationship status and sexual activity.
Signs of sexual depression include easy irritability, lack of interest in sex, relationship tension, high-risk sexual behaviors, and unhealthy coping mechanisms like binge eating.
Possible causes range from lack of a partner to poor communication and body image issues.
Sexual frustration can have a serious impact on relationships and is best resolved quickly.
Effective communication is one of the keys to dealing with sexual frustration whilst in a relationship.
Other ways to deal with the problem include finding new endeavors, visiting a doctor, and speaking with a therapist.
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