Sexual Health

How To Keep Your Sex Life Healthy In Marriage?

Sex is something that couples often participate in. It is a healthy way of expressing feelings for one another. Sexual activity helps to keep a relationship intimate and has many benefits for both participating parties.

The activity has been linked to a boost in immune health. Studies also show that sex improves bladder control in women, and may help to lower blood pressure levels. Even pain can be lessened with frequent sexual intercourse1. 

While sex is something that happens more than regularly in a new relationship, it start to dwindle after years of marriage. This is especially concerning problems in older adults. After being married for many years, two people often find that they lose that “spark” in their relationship. 

We take a look at how older people can maintain a healthy sex life. It is important to understand that even when sexual dysfunctions develop, there are still ways to be intimate. We will also take a look at some of the most common sexual problems that older adults tend to experience. 

Sexual Problems In Older Adults

Sex is usually not a problem for young adults. Men are able to feel sexually attracted and get an erection. Women experience appropriate sexual desire, which means they want to participate in sexual intercourse frequently. 

However, as adults get older, they often start to develop sexual problems. Libido is one of the first things that decline with age. There are various reasons for this to happen. 

Men tend to experience a slow decline in testosterone after they turn 302. By the age of 65, at least 60% of all men have testosterone levels that are considered lower than normal3. This happens when the decline in testosterone is more significant than it should be. 

Testosterone regulates sexual desire. Even though it does not affect erectile function directly, men may find that erectile dysfunction develops when they have low testosterone levels. With this in mind, another common issue among men is the poor erectile function.

Some men can still get an erection that is rigid enough for sex. Unfortunately, the erection may not last for the entire duration of intercourse. Instead, it goes away during sex. 

This can make sex less pleasing for both parties involved. It can also interfere with the man’s confidence in the bedroom. Additionally, relationship problems can develop in the presence of sexual dysfunctions. 

Women can also experience problems with their sexual health. At the age of menopause, many women tend to experience a decline in their libido too. This is due to the fluctuations that occur in the woman’s hormones.

Estrogen and other female hormones decline significantly during menopause. This, in turn, leads to sexual dysfunction in female patients.

Keep Your Sex Life Healthy And Strong

There are still many older couples who frequently enjoy sex4.

People must take a look at their lifestyle. 

In this section, we will share a couple of essential tips. These tips are aimed at older people who find that their sex life with their partner is not what it used to be.

It is essential to consider each of the tips we share below. By implementing a combination of these tips, there is a better chance of restoring that spark in the relationship. 

Good Communication

One of the most concerning factors in relationships today is poor communication. In fact, failure to communicate with each other can lead to devastating effects. 

There are many ways that poor communication can affect a relationship. 

Sometimes, two people grow apart. They stop appreciating the small things that bring joy to them as a couple. Some people even stop talking about many things. They continue to talk about household chores, taking care of the kids, and other important things. Unfortunately, this means they skip out on talks about the relationship

If people do not talk to each other, they will fail to understand the problems that the other person has. Sure, the two know each other for many years. Understanding each other takes time and dedication. 

It is important to remember that we grow all the time – even as we age, we are still learning and adapting. This means the understanding between two people that were there in their twenties will be completely different three decades after. 

Good communication also involves knowing how to talk to each other. A report on Psychology Today5 explains that a lot of people tend to use direct language when arguing – like “you.” An example is given: “You are not good enough,” or “you should pay attention.” 

These direct languages can cause a barrier. It makes the other party feel like they are not understood or appreciated. Switching to a language that is more compassionate helps to reduce the risk of sparking a serious argument. 

It is also important to avoid being soft on an issue, yet tough on the partner. Insulting a partner and making them feel like a situation is all their fault can hurt a relationship. Even when the partner has a fault, using softer language can show compassion. 

Another common communication problem is invalidating the other person’s feelings. This is a problem that comes when abilities are compared to one another. People in a relationship should feel equal – the one should not feel superior to the other. 

Share Desires And Expectations

While we are on the subject of communication, it is also important to consider talking about both expectations and desires. Being open about what is expected in the bedroom will shed some light on both parties in the relationship. 

When expectations are kept a secret, neither one of the parties may be satisfied during sex. Sitting down for a talk is one of the best ways to help eliminate this problem. 

Each party should be given a chance to explain what they expect from themselves and their partner in bed. Once both have spoken, they can take a look at how their expectations interlink. Additionally, the two can find ways that their expectations for sex differ. 

This will allow each partner to determine what the other one expects from them. It allows the person to determine if they will be able to provide their partner with this. 

Many people have specific desires when it comes to sexual intercourse. These should also be shared while talking about sexual expectations

People are often surprised to find that they have very similar desires. Yet, they never shared these desires. In turn, the relationship feels like it has dried up because both were too afraid to share what they desire in bed. 

When talking about desires and expectations, it is critical that both partners ensure they are not judgemental. Open communication is a key factor at this point. When the two start to judge each other’s expectations, it will cause a worsening of the existing barrier that may exist. 

Initiate More Often

When a man has a problem with his erectile function, he may develop sexual performance anxiety6. A woman who finds that they were not able to thoroughly satisfy their partner may experience similar problems. Unfortunately, this can cause the couple to initiate sex less often. 

The man fears that his penis may not get erect when he initiates. The woman feels that she may not be able to properly satisfy her partner. The delay in initiating sexual intercourse can make things worse. It can cause the flame in the relationship to go away. 

Even though it may bring up feelings of anxiety, initiating more often can be a great way to keep a healthy sex life in a marriage. Having more sex can also boost libido. In turn, the couple will find that they become more interested in having sex. 

More Tips For Your Married Sex Life

We shared a few helpful tips on how people can maintain a healthy sex life after marriage above. These are all great tips. Communication is crucial.

The couple should ensure they know about the sexual desires and expectations of each other. It is also important to initiate sex more often. 

There are other tips that can also be helpful. We share a few additional things that both men and women should consider. 

  • Do not expect things to be perfect every time. There may be times where the man’s penis fails to become fully erect. Perhaps both lose their libido halfway through sex. This does not mean there is a serious problem with the relationship. It does not have to be perfect. Being intimate frequently helps. 

  • Sexual pleasure can sometimes be obtained through other activities. Oral sex is an example. Better sex should not be expected immediately. 

  • Try to be more spontaneous. Scheduling sex can feel boring. Boosting sexuality should come with a couple of surprises. This is also good for maintaining a healthy relationship. 

  • If there are relationship problems, couple counseling can be helpful. Many couples feel wary of this type of therapy. It can, however, be a positive factor in their lives. The couple should consider at least one visit with a counselor in their local area. This can help them get an idea of how a couple’s counseling works. It will also allow them to see if this type of solution may be appropriate for them. A sex therapist can also help to identify problems in the relationship. 

  • Exercise can help. A lot of older people tend to start living a more sedentary life. This is a big problem. An inactive lifestyle causes weight gain, increases the risk of diabetes and heart disease, and more. By exercising, both partners can ensure they are healthy and do not become obese. Exercise may also boost libido. Some men experience a reduction in erectile dysfunction symptoms when they start implementing an exercise program. 

  • Diet may also contribute to sexual desire and erectile function. Eating foods with aphrodisiac properties may help to stimulate the libido of both parties in the relationship. Some foods are also known to help improve blood circulation. This may be helpful for men who find that their erections are not as rigid as they used to be. 

  • Sexual problems should be addressed. Good sex cannot be experienced if a woman suffers from vaginal dryness, for example. Sexual function may be restored when the underlying issues are corrected. Women’s health is affected by menopause. When hormones are low, hormone therapy may help. Men with prostate problems and cancer should also attend to these diseases. 

  • Practicing foreplay helps sometimes. It is possible to try a sex toy. This may help to spark the sexual relationship and give the two a chance at great sex. In turn, sexual satisfaction may be improved. 

  • Men should consider blood flow problems if they have weak erections. Techniques to lower blood pressure may help. If the man has heart disease, treatment should be obtained too. 

Conclusion

Sex should be important in every relationship. This activity comes with benefits for both young and old. Among older couples, many find that they stop having sex. Healthy sex life can be difficult to maintain after being together for many years.

It is not impossible, however. We looked at a few effective ways that older couples are able to keep the spark alive, even after being married for over a decade. 

Sources

  1. Boston University School of Medicine. Prevalence, Diagnosis, and Treatment of Hypogonadism in Men. [online] Available at: https://www.bumc.bu.edu/sexualmedicine/publications/prevalence-diagnosis-and-treatment-of-hypogonadism-in-primary-care-practice/
  2.  National Institute on Aging. Sexuality in Later Life. [online] Available at: https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/sexuality-later-life#safe
  3. Psychology Today. (2015) 4 Major Relationship Communication Mistakes That Ruin Love. [online] Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/blog/communication-success/201508/4-major-relationship-communication-mistakes-ruin-love
  4. Sexual Medicine Reviews. (2020) Sexual Performance Anxiety. [online] Available at: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31447414/

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